the-red-banshee

giveamanagame:

captainjamestklrk:

MY BIRD IS SITTING IN THE TOP CORNER OF HER CAGE CALLING MY DOG’S NAME AND ASKING IF HE WANTS A TREAT AND IF HE WANTS TO GO TO OUTSIDE AND HE’S TOO STUPID TO REALIZE IT’S HER SO EVERYTIME SHE SAYS SOMETHING HE LOOKS AT ME LIKE

image 

SHE LAUGHS EVERYTIME TOO AND NOW HE’S JUMPING ON ME AND BARKING AND GETTING MAD AT ME LIKE OLIVER TURN AROUND AND LOOK IN THAT HUGE ASS CAGE AND BEG HER FOR A FUCKING TREAT OR SOMETHING. 

your bird is an asshole

notthomas

barackfuckingobama:

xinjay:

itsjustafangirlthing:

tundrakatiebean:

spooknessinsalvation:

thisbookofshadows:

barackfuckingobama:

so i bought this ring that has a little hinge and it opens up to a tiny secret box hidden under the gem and my mom told me that women used to put poison in it and then SLIP POISON INTO PEOPLES DRINKS and i was like NUH UH THIS CANT BE REAL and i just googled it and guys this is like a real thing

people are psycho

I have a few of those. I think they’re really neat!

classiest way to poison someone hands down

That’s how it all goes down in Hamlet, poison ring.

I’ve always, always wanted one of these because I have pure peppermint liquid that can ruin a drink with one drop and just kargfksernjskrn I want one.

wait why does everyone want one of these

what are all of you people planning

i regret making this post because i have been getting the creepiest reblogs in the universe seriously tumblr u scary